It’s come full circle for me, Monday, September 2nd, being the one year anniversary of my father’s passing. I put my music and writing projects on hold a little over a year ago due to his declining health. Managing his healthcare turned out to be a full-time job, and even though I was blessed to share the challenge with my two siblings, it was something I needed to give as much of my head and heart to (while also being present to my husband, child, and day job). As much of a Wonder Woman I’d like to imagine I could be, there’s only so much any of us can do in a day.
Then there’s heartbreak: I had to put the music, the writing, the dreaming aside, for a while. I admit, I was disappointed and frustrated at the time. But, no regrets. My dad, I mean, he was pretty awesome. Maybe not perfect, but awesome none-the-less. All around cool guy, and while we had our rough years, in the end, we were like this.
He lived with my husband, my son and me for that last year. Wow, that was a challenge! But I am so grateful my son had time with his Papa Dodie. Selfishly, I’m just glad for every moment I had with him too. I don’t care how grown up or mature you get, a girl still needs her daddy. Every morning when I walked out the door to work, he’d say, with this look of adoration and sincere amazement, “You look GORGEOUS.”
And here’s the thing: I never questioned that he believed it.
How many times in our life do we hear that? I heard it everyday for that last year. And I miss it now.
Like I said, awesome.
After his passing, it took time for me to be present to my music and writing projects, open to the creative spirit. Gratefully, experience has taught me that even the creative spirit needs rest at times – time to process and heal before it can give its best. Just like any other part of the body.
I waited, sometimes patiently, others not. (That’s the anxious, anal, task-master bitty in me that has to get things done!) And now, I am proud to share that the music is done. On the one year anniversary of my father’s death, it is finished. I know he had something to do with it. Life just works that way, doesn’t it?
