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Coming Full Circle – September 2nd

It’s come full circle for me, Monday, September 2nd, being the one year anniversary of my father’s passing. I put my music and writing projects on hold a little over a year ago due to his declining health.  Managing his healthcare turned out to be a full-time job, and even though I was blessed to share the challenge with my two siblings, it was something I needed to give as much of my head and heart to (while also being present to my husband, child, and day job).  As much of a Wonder Woman I’d like to imagine I could be, there’s only so much any of us can do in a day.

Then there’s heartbreak:  I had to put the music, the writing, the dreaming aside, for a while.  I admit, I was disappointed and frustrated at the time.  But, no regrets.  My dad, I mean, he was pretty awesome.  Maybe not perfect, but awesome none-the-less.  All around cool guy, and while we had our rough years, in the end, we were like this.

He lived with my husband, my son and me for that last year.  Wow, that was a challenge!  But I am so grateful my son had time with his Papa Dodie. Selfishly, I’m just glad for every moment I had with him too. I don’t care how grown up or mature you get, a girl still needs her daddy.  Every morning when I walked out the door to work, he’d say, with this look of adoration and sincere amazement, “You look GORGEOUS.”

And here’s the thing:  I never questioned that he believed it.

How many times in our life do we hear that?  I heard it everyday for that last year.  And I miss it now.

Like I said, awesome.

After his passing, it took time for me to be present to my music and writing projects, open to the creative spirit.  Gratefully, experience has taught me that even the creative spirit needs rest at times – time to process and heal before it can give its best.  Just like any other part of the body.

I waited, sometimes patiently, others not.  (That’s the anxious, anal, task-master bitty in me that has to get things done!)  And now, I am proud to share that the music is done. On the one year anniversary of my father’s death, it is finished.  I know he had something to do with it.  Life just works that way, doesn’t it?

Thanks in Advance

First, I have to mention my son hit a homerun today in T-ball. Hello, Mr. Awesome!

Ok, now onto the real business here.  I’m ready to play out this Saturday night. Excited about singing, playing, getting all dolled up – the usual stuff. But more so, I’m excited about bringing people together, seeing friends from a past life that I had tucked away for so long, and welcoming in soon-to-be friends who come to listen for the first time. (If I forget to say it at the show, thanks for taking a chance on an unknown kid.)

Here’s the thing – it is truly my pleasure to play for you. I consider you to be music connoisseurs and artists. I couldn’t have a better audience for sharing my artistic passions with. So, as my son would say, “No, seriously,” thank YOU.

See ya at the show!

Stop Yourself

I wrote March’s song around the love story in Victoria Dahl‘s Bad Boys Do.  

How can he make her name sound like a kiss?

Olivia Bishop is an “older woman” at age 35.  (Yikes, if she’s old, what does that make me?)  Recently divorced, she was dumped by her ex because she just wasn’t fun.  Ouch!  But when she begins hanging out with Jamie Donovan, a younger man (at 29), she starts to realize just how much fun she really is.  (Just in case you’re interested, here’s my review on Goodreads.)

Stop Yourself (my song), plays with these characters and their roles in a very upbeat, playful way.  I especially love the lines:

“He did the taking, the cheating, the lying.
She did the making-believing and trying.
He took her fun, left her questioning why-ing.
It’s over, it’s done, don’t try to stop yourself.”

I hope you enjoy the lyrics.  I’m looking forward to debuting this one with the others on May 4th at my SOhO gig.

Falling Even Deeper

Josh Holloway "Sawyer"
“Sawyer,” aka Kyle, aka Josh Holloway

I know I’m a little late to the party in delivering my February song.  But hey, it’s my party, so I guess I can be a little behind schedule.

Really, I did finish the song in February, and in fact, have even written my March tune and am working on April’s.  It’s just that I geek out so much on the music writing that I run out of time for the writing writing.

So, better late than never, I give you the lyrics to Falling Even Deeper, inspired by Rylann and Kyle in Julie James‘ About That Night, which I l-o-v-e-d.  In fact, here’s my review on Goodreads.

It’s a rocker!  You can hear it live on stage at my next show…Sat., May 4th (2013) at SOhO in Santa Barbara.  6:00-7:30pm.  Go ahead, get all romantic and make it a date night.

 

 

 

 

 

Hook, Line and Sinker

I’ve embarked on my song-a-month journey and am pleased to share my first installation from the month of January.  Hook, Line and Sinker was a fun write, but admittedly challenging for me with regards to some of the fingering on the guitar.  I chose an alternate tuning, which is always a cool way to explore different sounds.  For some reason, though it seemed to take me longer than it should have to cement the musical progression down in my head and hands.

It was almost like there was a disconnect between the two.  I think I might just be so used to playing older songs without even thinking that I actually had to exercise a part of my brain that had temporarily dimmed the lights.  Ha! I guess that’s part of the point of this project – to turn the lights back on, in full, active force.

I love the song, and the challenge it posed just might make me appreciate it even more.   It’s inspired by the romance between Mitch and Paige in Shannon Stacey’s All He Ever Needed.  She’s one of my favorite go-to contemporary romance writers.  I enjoy her down-to-earth characters, and have to admit, these two are my favorites up to this point.

I’ll be recording Hook, Line and Sinker in the future, but for now, the lyrics will have to tell the story…or you can come take a listen at my next live show…

 

Daddy’s Home

I get it.  I finally get it.  Daddy's Home

My husband has been gone for the past three days, and tonight he is finally home.  Between the full-time job, the 6-year old boy, and the new puppy, I’ve been “single mommying” it for a couple of days here.

I know, nothing to complain about, and I’m certainly no storybook heroine.  But I have to admit, a single day without my husband gives me the greatest appreciation for single moms.  It also gives me a new, no renewed appreciation for my husbee.  As he said on our first date (and I quote), “I’m all right.”

He is.

And strangely enough, everything seems all right now that he’s home.  The crazy, separation anxiety dog, the overly energetic boy who misses his dad, his buddy, his pal, and the slightly over-confident rocker chick who thinks she doesn’t need a man, really, until she wants a man, are all sitting peacefully now, just hanging.  No TV.  No music.  Not even much by way of conversation.  Just contentedness because everything is right and everyone is where they’re supposed to be in our uncomplicated little world.

Oh, and by the way, babe, I want you to be home.

Writing and New Year’s Resolutions

Happy New YearAh yes, New Year’s Resolutions.  I don’t always make them mostly due to the fact that I don’t think about it until Dec. 31st, if I’m lucky, as early as Dec. 30th.  With so little thought behind it, I’m hardly committed to following through…

…Although, there was that record year where I vowed to pull a quote from my all-time favorite movie, When Harry Met Sally on a daily basis.  I actually stuck with it for at least a good month, ok, maybe a fanatical two months.  Just ask my team at work.  Some of them have never seen the movie in fact, and claim that thanks to me, they don’t feel the need to.  I’m still not sure if that’s a compliment or a cut.  Hmmmm??

In any case, the fact that I stuck with it as long as I did is a tribute to the amazing writing of the late Nora Ephron.  There are just so many moments in the movie that stand out and stand alone.  They proved to be so real, so strangely applicable to every day life as my colleagues who were privy to my resolution came to realize.  To be that kind of writer – EPIC!

So, while we’re on the topic of writing and NY Resolutions, I thought I’d share mine (yes, I actually made one) for 2013:  I am taking on the challenge of writing a new song each month.

I know, you’re saying, “BIG WHOOP.  You’re a songwriter, aren’t you?  Isn’t that just like breathing?”

Why, yes, I am, and in a way, it is.  But you know how it is—working mom and wife, trying to keep up with Kindergarten homework, regular meals, and the occasional Jazzercise class.  Just never seems to be enough time.  Sometimes you forget to do something so basic and essential as breathing.  Same for songwriting these days.

But I’m good with a goal, and even better when I have a purpose.  This resolution is pretty exciting to me, and I’m all for making it happen.  And just to go all out crazy, I’m tying it into another more-than-just-a-hobby-would-be-career-choice.  I’m inviting my inspiration for these songs to come from the books I read, which are most definitely romance novels.  Hey, I’m in love with love.  Besides, I’ve written enough bitter, jealous, “you broke my heart and stole my Bible” songs to last me a lifetime.

Stay tuned!  More to come…

So, what’s your New Year’s Resolution?  Think, think, think.

Romance, Maps, and Stemmed Glassware?

While by night I am a songwriter, entertainer, and romance writer, by day, I work for a map company.  We’re always geeking-out on strange and wonderful maps.  This one, named “Vaguely Rude Place Names of the World” came across my desk today.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s pret-ty entertaining, and strangely applicable to my passion for the fun and often times cheeky world of romance writers (and readers).  For those of you who aren’t familiar with the secret world of romance, I’ve got to say it’s like Girls’ Night on steroids…or more appropriately, on lots of dark chocolate, booze in stemmed glassware, and a killer pair of heels.  What’s not to love about that for a rocker chick like me???

Ok, have fun with the map!

DoYour Best – It Is Truly All You Can Do

First, I want to say thank you for all of the wonderful birthday wishes back on August 18th.  My lack of acknowledgment until now is not a sign of me being unappreciative of your sentiments – because I truly do appreciate your thoughts and well wishes.  The fact is that I have been out of sync over the past few weeks.

Many of you know that for the past couple of years, my dad has been battling kidney cancer.  Last year, he moved in with my husband, son and me, and up until a few weeks ago, he was doing well enough.  But then he changed.  Whether it be his body had hit the tipping point where the drugs just didn’t work any more, or somewhere in his subconscious, he said, “I’m done,” I’ll never really be sure.

In my heart, I’d like to think it was the latter.  I’d like it to have been his choice.  One last kick in cancer’s face, where he didn’t let it get the best of him.  Instead, he said, “Cancer, you don’t own me.  I do.  You can have this rickety old body, I’m done with it.  I’ve got a lot waiting for me in the next life, and quite frankly, I’ve done all that I can to be the best person I could in this one.”

You see, my dad did do the best he could.  I really came to see that as I watched him in these last days – his last with us.  It’s not anything he said or did to convince me.  Rather, it’s all the stories of his life relayed to my siblings and me by his friends and family, that stand as proof of his existing each day giving his best.

It amazes me, the number of people who reached out to visit my dad, and those who have called or sent their memories via email or letter.  Cousins, in-laws who were more like siblings, best friends from his high school, Airborne, and back-packing days.  People who had journeyed with him, shared meals, and mostly laughter.  Ladies – of course the lovely ladies (he was a good looking guy after all, not to mention that charm).  And even his high school baseball coach who told us after all of his years of coaching and the hundreds of kids he’d worked with, that my dad was “one of the good ones.”

What a tribute to this person who did nothing more than his best and expected nothing less from his children.  I remember all he and my mom ever asked of us kids was to “do your best.”  It was that simple.  No expectations of straight A’s or high-paying jobs, fancy cars and big houses.  (Heck, he never even pressured me to have kids – well, sort of.)  Just a clear standard to guide us, a standard as unique and personal as we each are.

As I watched the remainder of my father’s life here pass, I began to truly understand and appreciate this value.  Do your best – it is truly all that you can do.

So, I’ve been doing my best over the past few weeks, which have been difficult to put it lightly.  I realized that my focus had to be on ushering my father gracefully from this life to the next and being present to my family as we support each other through this process.

My apology that this means I will not be performing for you this coming Sat., (Sept. 8th) at SOhO.  It was a tough decision to make, because I kept hearing that old line, “The show must go on,” in the back of my head.  But for me, I know in my heart that a show at this time, it just wouldn’t be my best.  And well, if I’m not giving it my best, then I’m cheating both you and me.  So, I’m going to have to let this one go until I can be truly present to performing for you.

Until then, my family and I sincerely thank you for your support, thoughts, and prayers.

All my best,

Tina Sicre

Some of my memories for you…

The Guide to Good Music

Recently I shared a free download of my song I’d Be a Fool with friends in a drive to sign you up on my email list.  It’s funny to me that so many of you have expressed your surprise over my style, or the sound of my voice.

I get it…after so many years of hearing me claim “I’m a singer, yadda, yadda” you had probably prepared for the worst.  I’m hoping it was a pleasant surprise for you to find out that hey, I’m not so bad after all.  (I do try to over-deliver, which I furthermore try not to confuse with over-singing.)

I have to admit something, though.  While I’d Be a Fool is one of my personal favorites (can you really have a favorite…songs are like kids, you know), Latin Jazz isn’t my typical style.  In fact, I’m not quite sure what is.  If you must know, I have always struggled with the question:  What kind of music do you play?  Ask me, and I’ll answer simply, “Good music.”  Well, at least I like it, and that’s got to count for something.

So, I’ve created a sort of guide for you as you navigate your way through the Tina Sicre catalog of recordings.  You’ll see, I have all kinds of flavors in my songwriting (more on that in an upcoming post).  For now, here are my recommendations (BTW, you can stream these through my music player or download them from iTunes).

If you like Rock:

  • Scarlet Letter (the Chocolate song)
  • Small Day
  • Jealous
  • GD

Country:

  • Too Late
  • Perfectly Clear (rock-a-billy)
  • Blues Parody

Pop:

  • All You Need to Know
  • 10-Ton

Emo-Ballads:

  • Sweet Memory
  • Buying A Cake
  • Hand Me Downs

And if you’re a kid under the age of 6:

  • Felicity (complete with an inspirational solo on a mini-kids-piano)

While we’re here, how would you answer that question…”What kind of music do I play?”  Also posed as “Who do you sound like?”  Feel free to share in the comments.  Thanks!